


The Price Of Friendship

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-22
Updated: 2006-02-22
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:03:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8076343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Reed helps Tucker make the most important decision of his life. (10/18/2002)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: I follow where the plot bunny leads. Some of my stories may be a continuation of earlier fables, but this one is brand new and totally stands alone.  


* * *

### October 12th, 2145

Trip looked down onto the cold waters of the bay spread out below him. He had heard that the Golden Gate Bridge had acquired the nickname "Lovers Leap" over the decades because many a broken heart had searched for the ultimate solution to healing their pain, but never until that moment did Trip think that the term could ever apply to him, but apply it did. Trip's heart was broken. Shattered in a way that he never thought possible.

And to think, yesterday started out to be one of the best days of his life. One of the hundreds of tests that the engineering team had run on the warp five engine finally went right and for the first time ever the darn thing actually worked.

The leader of the team, one Lieutenant Commander Jonathan Archer, was actually rendered speechless. There, right before his eyes was proof that his father's dream was really going to come true.

To celebrate, Archer took the entire team, including his right hand man, Lieutenant Charles Tucker the Third out to dinner and for the first time in a long time the group spent the night thoroughly enjoying themselves. Even though they were having fun, partying can take a toll, even on people as young as this engineering team and as the evening wore on, one by one members of the group bid Archer their goodnights, until only he and Trip were left. That was when the pair decided to move the celebration to a nearby bar.

After toasting to their success, Trip was pleased to see that John was finally beginning to unwind a little bit. Jonathan Archer was rapidly becoming Trip's best friend, but at times he could be a little too reserved for Tucker's taste. Trip was glad to see his friend relax for once and really enjoy the moment.

Said moment's, however, stretched into hours and before they knew it the bar started to close all around them. Staggering out into the night Trip helped the commander to his quarters, intending only to see his friend safely home before going to his own room, but Tucker got a surprise when the door closed to Archer's apartment. The commander grabbed the young lieutenant, shoved him against the wall and kissed him. Hard.

Overwhelmed, Trip didn't know how to react. He just stood there in a sense of shock, automatically kissing Archer back while he tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

He'd always been attracted to John, but Archer had never given him any indication that his feelings were reciprocated, yet here John was shoving his tongue deep into Trip's mouth and rubbing his hips against Tucker's now bulging pelvis, turning Tucker on in a way no one had ever done before.

Trip didn't know what to do. A part of him was afraid that it was just the booze talking. That Archer would wake up the next morning horrified at what he and Trip were doing, but as John's hands began to peal the clothes off of Trip's shapely body, his kisses began to trail down the engineer's chest heading for the center of his sexual soul, Trip told himself that he was being stupid. Archer was here, now, and he wanted Trip. Tucker could not believe that John could lose enough control to make love to Trip if he really didn't want to, no matter how many beers he had in him.

The engineer pushed his worries aside and luxuriated in the moment. He felt joy when Archer engulfed his penis in his mouth, giving Trip's member all of his undivided attention. He felt white heat when Archer moved lower and sent his tongue into Trip's nether region, where no tongue, or anything else for that matter, had ever been before.

And finally, when Archer's cock followed his tongue, filling Trip full with the pulsating warmth of his lover, Trip's heart mushroomed open. God, he loved this man within him. No, he loved this man himself. As Jonathan Archer came, hard and pumped his seed deep within Trip's body, Trip's heart overflowed. He was in love. Truly. For the first time in his life.

Then came disaster. Trip made a huge mistake when he left his new lover sleeping alone, thinking he would get in a quick morning jog before Archer awoke, but when he returned to the apartment he found that his worst fears had been realized. Trip had been afraid that John would regret what they had shared together, that he would be disgusted at what they had done, but the reality of the situation was far beyond any nightmare that he could have envisioned.

John didn't recall at all what had happened between them. Archer had been drunk. Too drunk to even remember what had happened the next day.

Trip was devastated. Here he had spent the greatest night of his life, had fallen hard, for the one person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and that person didn't even remember their night together. Trip fought to hide his disappointment, making up some excuse of sleeping it off on Archer's couch the night before, then he got the hell out of there.

And now, as he stared down into the chilly depths of the cold blue waters below, Trip debated about what to do. It would be so easy to fling himself over the rail and erase the pain forever, but he just couldn't do it. That final solution would hurt his family too much.

No, Tucker told himself to suck it up. He had to keep on going, no matter what the personal cost, so Trip mentally gathered up all the pain and love that he felt for Jonathan Archer and locked his heart away in an imaginary metal box, vowing to never let his heart open again. To never love again.

The decision made, Trip turned his back on the bridge and began the hardest mission of his life. To just be Jonathan Archer's friend.

* * *

### 

Seven Years Later

Malcolm Reed was having, if he dared to admit it even to himself, one hell of a good time. He had escaped the doldrums of his everyday routine and he loved it. Now mind you, Malcolm Reed absolutely adored his job, but one did tire of seeing the same sights and doing the same things all of the time, so whenever the opportunity came up to pull some special duty that did not involve the armory or the bridge Malcolm jumped to volunteer, eager for a change of scene. Today's chance stemmed from a first contact situation that arose three days before.

Enterprise had answered a distress call from a race of people called the Bynarillan's. Their ship was in dire straits and they were in desperate need of engineering assistance, so Trip Tucker and his team had shuttled back and forth between the alien ship and Enterprise constantly during the last seventy two hours in an effort to get the alien ship...well...ship shape.

There was so much traffic that there weren't enough qualified pilots to fly the two shuttlepod's around the clock, which explained why Malcolm was in the driver's seat of Shuttlepod One at that moment. Commander Tucker needed a ride back to Enterprise and there was simply no one else left to do it.

Feeling the shuttle respond to his touch helped Malcolm understand why Travis Mayweather was so addicted to the boomer way of life. It wasn't only the sensation of total control that made Malcolm want to pilot a ship, it was the view. While Enterprise had plenty of windows, none of them compared with the panoramic vista of outer space one could experience though the unrestricted canopy of the shuttlepod.

To Malcolm this was the major perk of space exploration. While he told everyone who asked that he joined Starfleet so he could be with his beloved weapons or (truth be known) to be away from the water he feared so much, the real reason was this view. He never thought he'd get enough of it.

That was why he'd been thoroughly enjoying himself, right up until the moment that his shipmate entered the little pod. One glance at Trip Tucker was all it took. The engineer was in trouble, that much was abundantly clear. Despite Tucker's assertions to the contrary after Malcolm inquired about his health, the armory officer still gave his friend the once over. Trip didn't look like he'd been physically harmed but his actions cried out a silent warning that something was seriously wrong.

Usually the engineer was full of bubbly enthusiasm after an away mission and couldn't wait to relate his exploits, in too much exquisite detail for Malcolm's taste, to anyone who would listen, but this time Trip said little. He just quietly stowed his tools and took his seat behind the armory officer, staring at his shoes. This was not the first sign of unusual behavior from the engineer, both Malcolm and the captain had noticed that something had been bothering Tucker for weeks, but it had never been this bad before.

Malcolm was hoping that some time away from Enterprise would help Trip, but obviously his visit to the alien ship only made things worse. Reed wished Trip would tell him what was going on, but he'd all ready been rebuffed in several attempts to get the engineer to speak and Malcolm knew that he wouldn't have much of a chance to engage in conversation until they returned to the ship, as the flight to Enterprise was a short one, but as soon as they safely got on board Malcolm vowed that he was going to sit Trip down in a private place and not let him go until he found out what had gone wrong with his friend.

Now that his plan of action had been laid out, Malcolm could afford to turn his attention back to the controls. It only took a minute or so to approach the launch bay, then the bridge informed them that there was a hitch. The launch bay door was stuck. It had been quirky ever since it was damaged in a collision the year before, during the very same mission that began Trip and Malcolm's friendship and now Malcolm took it as a good sign that they were trapped in a shuttlepod once again.

"Well." Malcolm faced his friend. "I'm afraid that we're stuck here for a few minutes while your intrepid engineers work to fix that damn door." There was no response. Usually Trip was quick to defend his team at even the tiniest slight, but this time, nothing. The armory officer tried again. "I wonder how long we'll be delayed?" Still nothing. Malcolm's worry doubled. "I wonder if the captain left another bottle of bourbon around."

"What?" Trip's head snapped up and he jumped a little, his whole body tightening up.

Hmm. Interesting reaction. "I said I wonder if the captain left any other gifts for us to find."

"Oh." When Trip realized that Malcolm was only talking about the bourbon, a subject that held no interest for the engineer, he relaxed and returned to his intense study of his shoes. "I don't think so."

"I suppose not." Malcolm now had a clue as to what was bothering his friend and the armory officer was determined to follow up on it like the detective he was. "Trip." The engineer actually looked up at the sound of his name. "Do you remember what happened the last time you and I were alone in a shuttlepod together?"

"How could I forget." Trip shivered and glanced at the airlock.

Damn. That wasn't the memory that Malcolm was going for. "I wasn't referring to that."

"Oh." Trip's gaze returned to the floor.

Malcolm never forgot the fact that Trip had been willing to sacrifice his life so Malcolm could live. He owed Trip a debt he could never fully repay. That was one reason the armory officer was so eager to fight for him now. Malcolm made sure that the pod was in a steady attitude, then left his seat and kneeled before Trip, his face interfering with Trip's study of the deck plating. The engineer's gaze changed from a look of despair to one of puzzlement. "I bared my soul to you, Trip. I told you things during that mission that I have never, ever told anyone else, that's why I'm closer to you than any other human alive. I trust you."

That pierced through Trip's self-absorption. "I know." Tucker's voice was thick with emotion. "I was honored that you trusted me that much, Malcolm." Then the engineer looked away from his friend and started to play with the cuff of his sleeve. "I still am."

"Then do me the honor of acknowledging that trust goes both ways." Malcolm shifted to get within sight of the engineer again. "I know that something is wrong. Don't..." Malcolm cut Trip off before the engineer could protest. "I wouldn't believe your denials so don't even try."

Trip killed the protest that was on his lips and subsided, knowing that he'd been caught. "Well, yeah, there's been somethin' that's been botherin' me."

Ahh, finally. Malcolm knew now that he'd gotten Trip started, he had to keep the engineer talking and the armory officer had a good idea which way to proceed. "Something to do with the captain perhaps?"

Bingo.

When Trip's head rocketed to full attention that was all the confirmation that Malcolm needed. Archer did, indeed have something to do with his friend's problem. "What is it, Trip? What's gone wrong with you and Captain Archer? You can tell me."

"Nothin's wrong." Reed's heart sank as he thought that Trip was stonewalling him again, but that wasn't it. Trip was ready to talk, he just couldn't do it while sitting still, so he jumped to his feet and started to pace. "Our relationship's the exact same way that it's always been."

Now they were getting somewhere. "And that's a problem?"

For the first time that day Tucker really looked at his friend. "It sure as hell is." As Tucker resumed his angry trek the words began to tumble from his mouth, some of them stumbling over one another in an attempt to be spoken. Apparently now that Trip decided to speak, all of his thoughts came out in one big gush. "I thought I could do it. I thought I could just be friends with him. I was able to do it back home, but out here...well, it's a hell of a lot harder than I ever imagined."

Malcolm wasn't quite sure what Trip was talking about here, but he was talking, that was the important thing. The armory officer didn't want to slow his friend down with extraneous questions. Better to let Trip get this all off of his chest and then try to sort it out later, so he just pretended that he knew what Trip was referring to and encouraged him to continue. "How so?"

"Cause I'm near him all the time, in such tight quarters and it's so hard not to keep noticin' how just how damn handsome he is, and how hot he looks keepin' his body in shape when he's workin' out in the gym, how strong he looks on the bridge and how that contrasts when the man turns into a complete pile of mush when he's fawning all over that dog of his. Sometimes that's all just too much for one man to take."

Wow. The fact that Trip was laying his heart on his sleeve, over Captain Archer of all people, wasn't something that Malcolm was ready for when he fought for Trip to trust him and it took the armory officer a second to gather up his wits. He debated whether to ask the one important question, then decided that the whole point was to open Tucker up so it wouldn't do to dodge the main point now. "Does the captain know that you love him?"

Startled, Trip made eye contact with the Brit. The engineer hadn't realized how thoroughly he had just bared his soul, but he shouldn't have been surprised that his friend would hone right in on the truth. Malcolm was the most observant person he knew, and even though the armory officer's guess was right on, Trip still couldn't talk while meeting Malcolm's eyes. He knew he would reveal just to damn much. "I thought he might have once, but he sure as hell doesn't now."

That was pretty cryptic, Malcolm thought. More explanation was needed. "How do you know."

"Oh, I know all right." Trip thought back to that horrible morning so long ago. "We had one night, then that was it."

"Really?" Malcolm had rallied himself to accept the fact that Trip was in love with a man, but he was absolutely floored to learn that the two men had actually progressed to intimacy at one time, since there had been absolutely no indication of any such affection displayed between the two during the entire year that he had known them, but the reasons for that became clearer as Trip told Malcolm the sad tale of their one night in San Francisco. Malcolm could clearly imagine Trip's pain and his own heart ached for his friend, yet Reed had a hard time believing that the captain could actually be able to keep Tucker at such an arms length if Archer had any true inkling as to the state of his best friend's emotional passions. At least Archer wouldn't knowingly continue to hurt Tucker, certainly not for seven years, of that Malcolm was sure. "Have you talked to the captain about your feelings?"

"Are you kiddin'!" Trip thought that was the most ridiculous question that he had ever heard. "I told you he doesn't remember. As far as Jonathan Archer is concerned he and I have never, ever been anythin' more that just friends."

"You don't know that!" Malcolm insisted, scooting forward, trying to get closer to Trip in an unconscious move to find the higher ground and get the advantage, knowing that he'd need all the help he could get in order to buttress up this argument. "The captain must harbor some affection for you or he never would have initiated those advances, drunk or not."

"I don't believe that for a minute, Malcolm."

The certainly in Tucker's voice told the armory officer that Tucker had convinced himself, right through his very soul, that his love was unrequited, but Reed wondered how the engineer could be so certain of that. "People usually lose their inhibitions when drunk and they're free to act in ways that they would be afraid to when sober. You know that, Trip, so who do you believe so strongly that the captain doesn't care for you?"

"Because he's had over seven years to make a move and nothin' else has happened." Frustrated, Trip began to pace again. "He's given me zero indication that he's wanted more out of our relationship than bein' just buddies and I'm sure that even if he did remember that night now, he'd end up regrettin' the whole thing."

Malcolm opened his mouth to argue some more, then realized that this particular effort would be futile. Trip had spent most of the last decade solidifying this point of view and there was no way Malcolm was going to shake him from this position in just a few minutes, so the armory officer decided to abandon the distant past for the moment and concentrate on more recent events. "Trip, you've had to deal with this for a long time. Obviously you've been able to come to some sort of comfortable compromise in your relationship with the captain, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to function out here for a fortnight, much less a year, yet you have. I noticed that you seemed to be happy during most of our voyage and it's only been the last few weeks that have found you down in the dumps. What happened to change that, Trip?"

Tucker hesitated. He'd opened up to Malcolm like he'd never opened up to anyone before, but while it was helping him to get it all out, it was hard. Still, Malcolm was giving him more support than anyone had in a long time, John included and Tucker decided that it was okay to lean on him for a little bit longer. "I just can't stand seein' Johnny get hurt all the time! It seems like he's always gettin' kidnapped and beat up by some band of aliens or another and if it isn't that, then he jumps headfirst into danger without even thinkin' about the consequences, like dealin' with explosive mines or surrenderin' to Silik while knowin' full well that the Suliban just wanted to kill him. It was only good luck that we got him back in one piece from that, and I don't even have the satisfaction of comfortin' him after this stuff happens! Now it's got to the point that I can't stand to have him outta my sight cause I'm afraid that it will be the last time that I'll ever see him. It's drivin' me crazy." Trip ran his fingers through his hair in a gesture of frustration. A sign that the engineer had finally given up. "I can't take it anymore, Malcolm. I really can't."

Malcolm felt a chill when he heard the finality in Trip's voice. He had seen Tucker near the edge once before, in this very shuttlepod, but at that time Trip was only willing to sacrifice himself for what he believed was the greater good, saving Malcolm, but now...could Tucker really believe that such a final step was the only cure for his shattered heart? "Trip..."

Tucker saw that he had frightened his friend and immediately was horrified when he realized what Malcolm must have been thinking. "No, Malcolm. I'm not gonna bump myself off. I swear." When Reed actually sagged in relief Trip was glad that he could reassure his friend on that score, but he knew Malcolm wasn't gonna like what he had to tell him next. "Still, the Bynarillan's did give me somethin' to think about while I was workin' over there."

Then Trip told his companion what had transpired on the alien ship and Malcolm's horror returned, full force. Trip wanted to do something irreversible, Malcolm could see that he did, and the armory officer simply could not let Trip continue on this course of action. Tucker had to be stopped. "Trip, you have got to talk to the captain. You can't know the truth about his feelings until you ask him, straight out." Reed grabbed Tucker by the arms, using the physical contact to reinforce his position. "You simply can't make such a life changing decision, Trip without knowing the facts. Forget about your suspicions or conjectures. You need to know the truth!"

"I know the facts, Malcolm!" Trip said, ripping out of Reed's grip, frustrated that the armory officer was arguing with him so hard.

"You only think you do!" Malcolm insisted. "You can't know for certain how Captain Archer would interpret the events in San Francisco since he has never had the chance to even learn about them, much less share his thoughts with you. You might be surprised at his reaction."

Trip looked at Reed with all of his pain and confusion clearly evident in his eyes. "And what if I'm right? What if he ends up bein' disgusted with me for even picturin' bein' with him in that way?"

Reed hesitated, not sure if he'd won his point or not. "At least you would know that you were making the right decision. Know it, not just guess."

Trip needed a few seconds to think this through so he turned his back to Malcolm and looked out the window. Reed left him to his musings in peace, then finally after what seemed like an eternity the engineer turned back to him. "I'm afraid, Malcolm. What if Johnny ends up hatin' me?"

"Would that really hurt you anymore than you're hurting right now?"

Trip couldn't imagine anythin' hurting more, but he could see that Reed was right. "I'll..." Trip faltered for a moment, never more scared of anything in his life, but he found his courage and carried on. "I'll talk to him as soon as we get back."

"Good." Reed nodded his support, then became busy with the controls to hide his warring emotions. That had been too close. Fortunately just then Enterprise radioed that the launch bay doors were now open and they were expecting the shuttlepod's imminent return to the mother ship. Reed sighed and started to pilot the little ship home. He'd done all he could. Now it was up to Archer.

* * *

An hour later the captain in question wasn't really paying attention to his chief engineer as he updated Archer on the current condition of the Bynarillan ship's engines. He was right in the middle of composing his latest report to Starfleet and was concentrating more on the words written on his pad, rather than those spoken aloud by his best friend. The truth of the matter was that John trusted Trip so completely that he knew that he didn't need to bother with the petty details of the repair work. Tucker always did an excellent job, so John didn't have to worry himself with looking over Trip's shoulder.

"We should be finished with all of the repairs by this time tomorrow, then the Bynarillan's will be on their way." Tucker could see that Archer hadn't heard half of what he said. As if he couldn't be bothered with anything Trip had to tell him. Tucker felt another wave of rejection, then realized that his imagination was running away with him again. Malcolm was right. There was no point in going on this way without really knowing the facts. The time to find out the truth was now. "You know, the Bynarillan's offered me a job in their engine room."

"I'll bet they did." Archer heard that all right and smiled. He wasn't surprised. Trip was one of the finest engineer's that he'd ever seen and it was no wonder that the alien's would like to have the use of his talents full time. Too bad he was already spoken for.

Trip took a deep breath. His relationship with Archer, not to mention his entire future hinged on this moment. It was time to take the plunge. "I think I'm gonna take it."

"What?" That caught Archer's attention all right and the captain focused his entire being squarely onto his engineer. What the hell was Tucker thinking? Trip loved being on Enterprise, he lived to be on Enterprise. There was no way he would voluntarily leave this ship. Archer knew he hadn't really been listening to Trip before and the captain was sure that he must have heard wrong. "What did you say?"

"I'm gonna take the Bynarillan's up on their offer." Tucker could see that he stunned the captain with his statement. Good. At least Archer was keeping his mind on him for a change.

Trip had Archer's attention all right. The captain was shocked to his very core. How could Trip possibly think about leaving? "Why?"

"Well, you have to admit it's a unique opportunity." Tucker hurried through his explanation, letting his nerves show. "I mean, how often does a human get to work on a completely alien warp engine? Even if it is a rusted old hulk that only goes warp 3.5. Besides..." Trip's voice halted for a moment. Now he was getting to the meat of the matter. "I can't stay here anymore."

Ah hah, Archer thought. So it wasn't the appeal of the alien ship that was enticing Trip to leave, it was a problem on Enterprise. Though he couldn't imagine any circumstance on the ship dire enough to make Trip want to run away from his home, at least the problem was in his territory and maybe he had the power to fix it. "Why can't you stay? If someone is giving you a hard time, or if there's a problem with the crew just tell me what it is, maybe I can help."

Trip hesitated. He'd been living for and dreading this moment for seven years, but it had finally came and now was time to see it through. "You're the problem, Cap'n."

"Me?" Archer was thoroughly floored. "What have I done to make you want to leave, Trip."

"It's not what you've done, Cap'n. It's who you are."

Archer didn't understand this at all. "Look, Trip, we've served together for a long time. If you don't like the way I do things..."

"It's just the opposite." Trip hastened to cut him off. "Not only do I like you, Jonathan Archer, I...I..." Trip took a deep breath and made himself say it. "I love you."

The words slammed into Archer's mind and forced him to lean back in to his chair in shock. Trip loved him? Instinctively the captain knew that Tucker wasn't talking about the friendly love between two buddies. No, Archer knew that Trip must be in love with him all the way. This was something Archer never expected and quite frankly he didn't know how to deal with it. "Since when?"

"Since that night you and I had sex in your apartment in San Francisco."

Archer didn't think anything else Trip could have said could possibly stun him more, but that did. "You and I did what?"

"I know, you don't remember." Trip sighed and explained to the captain about their night of lovemaking.

Dazed, Archer couldn't look at Trip as he told the captain their story, a story that he didn't even know about. He just sat still and stared straight at the bulkhead while Tucker talked.

"So you see, I thought I could live with us just being friends. I mean, it took me awhile, but I finally accepted the fact that Johnny, my lover was gone."

"That's why you never call me Johnny." Archer whispered.

Trip nodded. "That's why. You're not my Johnny, you're just the Cap'n, but Cap'n Archer is my friend and for awhile just bein' friends was enough."

"But not anymore?"

Trip shook his head. "I just can't take it. I love you so much and it hurts so bad knowin' that you'll never love me back that way." Trip paused for a moment, giving Archer a chance to deny it. Giving him a chance to jump to his feet, to say he loved Trip, to take Trip into his arms, but the captain did none of those things. He just sat rock still, staring at the bulkhead, avoiding Trip's gaze.

Despair began to fill Trip's voice. "So, you understand why I have to go."

Still no response. No movement. Tears filled Trip's eyes as he realized that his best friend really did hate him now, that Archer was disgusted with him for wanting to be with the captain that way. Trip knew that this had to be true otherwise John would be on his feet, begging him to stay. The bands around the imaginary box that had surrounded Trip's heart tightened once again. His life was now ruined. An eternity on an alien ship or an eternity here, both would be hell without Jonathan Archer's love. Struggling through his emotions, Trip took a deep breath and managed to get out, "don't worry, Cap'n. One way or another I'll be off this ship by tomorrow afternoon." Trip paused one more time, waiting for some sort of reaction from Archer, but there was none. Only silence.

That was it then. Tucker didn't even bother to hide the tears that were now trailing down his face. He turned to go, but paused at the door. There was still one more thing to say. "It's been a honor to serve with you, sir."

Still no reaction. Trip took one last look at the person that was no longer his friend and walked out of the room, a thoroughly broken man.

* * *

Reed eagerly made his way to Tucker's quarters. Enough time had passed for Trip to have talked to the captain and Reed was anxious to see how things had turned out. It never occurred to the armory officer that Archer would reject Tucker, so he was totally shocked when he found his friend sobbing while he rapidly packed his things. "No!"

"Oh yes." Tears flowed down Trip's cheeks while he shoved a shirt into his bag at random.

This whole thing took on a surreal quality to Malcolm. Today couldn't really be the last day of Trip's life here on Enterprise, could it? "I can't believe that the captain is actually letting you go."

"He's not only letting me go, he wants me to go."

Never, in his wildest imaginings would Malcolm have expected such behavior from his captain. "He actually said that?"

"No, he didn't say a damn thing. He just sat there like a stone when I told him that I loved him. He was too disgusted to even look at me."

Reed couldn't really comprehend that the captain had the capacity within him to hurt his friend so badly. Even if Archer was upset at Trip's revelation Malcolm was sure that the captain would have let Trip down easy. One would think that it would go against Archer's character to reject Tucker so thoroughly and Reed was having a hard time comprehending the fact that this nightmare was real. "I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it." Tucker finished his packing and zipped his bag closed. "As soon as the repairs to the Bynarillan ship are finished they're gonna leave and I'm goin' with them."

This wasn't just a nightmare, this was a full fledged personal disaster. Here, after all these years Malcolm Reed had finally found a true friend, one that he could be totally comfortable with and now that friend was going to leave the ship and the life he loved to spend the rest of his days living with a bunch of alien's. Sure, they seemed like nice people, but they were still strangers. This was worse than a self imposed exile. Tucker would be totally alone. Without a human confidant anywhere near. Reed simply couldn't let him do it. "I'm going with you."

That stopped Tucker short. "You're gonna what?"

"I'm not going to let you spend the rest of your life alone with only a group of strangers for company. Even if they are a friendly bunch. You'll go mad within a week. So I'm going with you."

Reed's true gesture of friendship brought a genuine smile to Tucker's face. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate your offer, Malcolm. It's the nicest thing anyone's done for me in a long time, but I can't let you."

"But..."

Tucker cut off Reed's protest by placing a hand on the armory officer's shoulder. "No sense in both of us ruinin' our careers."

Reed tried again. "Trip..."

"No..." Tucker was firm. "You're stayin' here, Malcolm and that's that!"

Reed could see that there was no moving Trip on this. When Tucker made up his mind he was stubborn as the proverbial mule. That was one thing Malcolm liked about him, so with less than good grace Malcolm gave in. "I'm going to miss you, Charles 'Trip" Tucker the Third."

"I'm gonna miss you too, buddy." Trip grabbed his friend and gave him a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you too."

* * *

Morning dawned and before they knew it the repairs to the alien ship were complete and it was time for Trip to go. Tucker dressed in civilian clothes, carried one bag while Malcolm carried the other as they walked to the launch bay. The air had an unreal sense around it. Reed guessed that he was still hoping that something would happen to change the situation. To keep Trip Tucker from leaving, but nothing did and all too quickly the pair had arrived at the launch bay.

The two friends stared at each other, each afraid to be the first to say goodbye. Finally, Trip spoke. "Well, I guess this is it."

"Are you sure that you're doing the right thing?" Reed asked for what seemed to be the millionth time.

Trip nodded. "I'm sure. Hoshi contacted the Bynarillan ship and they're standin' by to receive the shuttlepod. My pilot should all ready be gettin' ready to fly me out to the ship and bring the pod back here when I'm gone. Hoshi told me that the Cap'n arranged the whole thing." Trip's voice broke. "I guess he really can't wait to get me off of this ship."

Reed took this in with a mixture of despair and disbelief. He still couldn't imagine that the Jonathan Archer he knew would coldly and so thoroughly reject his friend this way, but if it was true, if Archer really now hated Tucker this much, then for the first time Malcolm thought that maybe Trip was indeed doing the right thing.

"You will write, won't you?" Malcolm couldn't bear the idea of them being totally out of contact.

Trip flashed his friend a sad, but endearing smile all the same. "Sure I will. As often as I can. You write me too." Trip's grin faded. "Even if I can't be on Enterprise anymore I still wanna know what's goin' on around here."

"I will." Reed promised as he watched Tucker stifle back a sob. Malcolm knew how much this moment was hurting the engineer and since the separation was apparently destined to happen, it would be best to get it over with quickly, so Reed said nothing more, he just gathered Tucker into a final hug, before they parted for the last time.

Malcolm's last glimpse of Enterprise's former chief engineer was of Tucker's head as he disappeared inside the pod. Reed sighed and went to the control room. He was determined to see the shuttle off before he returned to his duties, but as he closed the airlock door he was afraid. Afraid that he would never set eyes on his best friend again.

* * *

When Tucker got inside the pod he was surprised to find that he was all alone. Given Archer's apparent anxiousness to get him off of the ship, Trip figured that the pilot would all ready have the thrusters half engaged the second he set foot on the deck plating, but that apparently wasn't the case.

Puzzled, Tucker put his bag down and moved toward the control panel. Maybe the pilot had all ready done the preflight checks, then had to step out of the pod for a moment, but when Trip took a look at the controls he found that the panel was totally dead. Nothing had been done. Trip frowned. Even if they started to warm up the pod right now it would take fifteen minutes to get the shuttle ready for flight and he was supposed to be rendezvousing with the Bynarillan ship by then. What the heck was goin' on?

Whoosh! As if in answer another duffel bag fell through the open airlock and slammed onto the pod's floor, then a pair of legs dressed in brown, civilian pants appeared. As the legs descended the steps the body of one Jonathan Archer, followed.

Now Trip had been mentally braced for leaving Enterprise and dealing with all of the emotional trauma involved, so he in no way was able to cope with the sight of Jonathan Archer standing before him, with a bag packed at his feet no less. This scenario never figured into Trip's thinking at all. "Just what the hell are you doin'?"

"Here." In answer John reached forward and handed Tucker a padd. "This is a copy of orders that I've given T'Pol. Hers are sealed. She's not to read them until this pod exits this launch bay, but I want you to read them now."

Curious Trip took the padd. The more he read, the more horrified he became. "You can't do this."

"The hell I can't."

"But..." Tucker couldn't believe it. He was reading Archer's resignation from Starfleet, effective the instant this pod left the launch bay. Stunned by the implications of Archer's resignation, one thought quickly jumped to the forefront of Trip's mind. "You're gonna leave a Vulcan in command of Starfleet's finest ship?"

"Only temporarily." Archer moved closer to Trip and pointed to the padd. "I've ordered T'Pol to take Enterprise back to Earth and once there Starfleet can give her a new captain."

"But..." Barely firing on one cylinder, Tucker stated the obvious. "That would end our mission."

"I know." Archer spoke with a great amount of certainty in his voice. "And I don't care."

"You don't care?" How could John not care? Trip knew that commanding that ship and going on this mission had always been Archer's whole life. How could it be so unimportant now? "Since when?"

"Since the moment you told me that you loved me." John closed in on the space between them and latched onto Trip by his shoulders. "Nothing else matters to me because I...I love you too."

Now Trip knew he was dreaming. He couldn't have heard this right. "You love me?"

Archer nodded. "From the first moment that I saw you." Then the captain shifted his grip and put his arms around Trip. "Here I've loved you all those years, but I've held back because I thought you weren't interested."

"You thought I wasn't interested?" Trip automatically repeated the phrase because his mind was still playing catch up. Events were changing too rapidly and he still couldn't quite believe that he was actually in Archer's arms. "But that night in San Francisco...?"

"Oh God?" I couldn't believe that when you told me. Here we had actually made love, something I had dreamed abut forever and I had to get so damn drunk that I didn't even remember. I felt so awful about the way I treated you, Trip. So shocked at all the suffering I unwittingly caused you for so long, that's why I didn't react in my quarters. I was so stunned that I just couldn't move. Then I realized that you must have read my shock as rejection and that I had just hurt you again. That's why I did this."

He released his grip around Tucker long enough to gesture to the padd. "Nothing means more to me in this entire universe than you do, Trip. Nothing! I know that it was too late to just say so, I had to prove it to you, so..." Archer gathered Tucker closer until the couple was only inches apart. "If you want to stay, we'll stay, but if you still want to leave, then I will gladly give up my command, this ship and this mission, because now that I finally have you, Trip nothing, and I mean nothing is going to keep me apart from you ever again."

Tucker's eyes started filling with tears and suddenly the little box where he locked up his heart all those years ago sprang open. Trip was finally free to love again. "So, you said those orders don't take effect until this pod leaves Enterprise?"

"That's right."

"Well then," Tucker shifted his stance until his lips brushed up against the captain's. "I guess we'll have to make sure that nothin' leaves this bay." "Absolutely nothing," John agreed before enveloping Tucker in a passionate kiss.

When their lips met and they were both engulfed with liquid fire as their mouths strove for contact, as if each man was frantically trying to make up for lost time with a single kiss. "Oh, Cap'n" Trip moaned and Archer pulled back a little, determined to see Trip's eyes.

"Johnny. I don't want to be your captain right now. I want to be your Johnny again."

That made Trip smile. "You are. After all this time I finally have my Johnny back."

"Damn straight!" Archer said, briefly returning Trip's smile before moving in to capture Trip's lips once more. Without breaking their lock, Archer pulled Tucker to the back end of the shuttle and then the captain reached up to close the hatch.

On the catwalk above, Malcolm smiled as he saw the airlock close. When he saw Archer enter the shuttlepod he knew everything was going to be all right and that Jonathan Archer was indeed the man, the captain, that Reed thought he was. Still smiling, Reed contacted the bridge and told them to pass the word along to the Bynarillan's that they'd have to find themselves another engineer. Commander Tucker was busy with other commitments at just that moment. Then with a final glance down at the pod, Reed thought he'd better go outside and guard the door for awhile. It wouldn't do for the captain and commander to be interrupted, no, not at all.

As Reed took up his position outside the door his good humor returned. His best friend was going to stay on board Enterprise and Reed could be assured of Trip's council and companionship for a good many years to come. Once again Reed blessed his posting to this particular ship with this particular crew. He was, indeed, a happy man.


End file.
